Life has its share of unpleasant surprises.....

“Honey, I’d be just a call away if you need me”. He said.  “Are we friends”? the lady asked. He could feel the moist of his tears running down his cheeks while he answered “Yes”.

She says with a smile. “I’m in love”.

“That’s great to hear and who is the lucky one”?

“That man who is sitting in the corner”.

All that Richards could do was give a smile. He has been visiting the care center ever since he admitted his wife years after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At first he was reluctant to let her go to a care center. But her condition deteriorated so much that she almost killed him once mistaking Richards for an intruder. Adele was her name. Richards had to constantly remind her that he was her husband and the attempts bore no fruit. Adele had no memories left from her past thanks to her degenerating medical condition. The man sitting in the corner slowly walked up to her and both of them started talking to each other oblivious of Richard’s presence. Richards left with a heavy heart. The next day Richards arrives at the care center with a bouquet of Adele’s favorite flowers hoping that it might help his wife recollect him. He knocks her door and there is no response. Richards gently pushes the door open to see his wife making out with the man whom he saw talking to Adele the previous day. Adele shouts in shock asking Richards how can he enter a stranger’s room without their permission and interrupt their privacy. Richards is too shocked at the sight and confronts the Head of the center how could they allow an outsider to take advantage of his wife’s medical condition. He threatens to sue them. The Chief replies, “Sir, the man whom you have seen is not an outsider but is a patient by name Allen like your wife. He is in more advanced stage of Alzheimer’s than your wife”. Richards has no words left to answer. He leaves the place. He recollects his happier days with his wife and the times he has broken his vows. He wanted to hold her hand through her last days and now it seems to be difficult as Adele considers Allen as her husband and plans to marry him as both of them are oblivious of their medical condition and its prognosis.

I was thinking what could have been running in Richards’s mind.  His wife, his partner for decades now has forgotten him. It must have been very painful for him to bear what he has seen. That’s the truth he has to live the rest of his life with.  For me, I would be dead by then.

Life is such that it throws unpleasant surprises at you. You must have dreamt of something all your life but just at the moment you think everything is perfect and you are right there, life throws some unpleasant circumstance at you shaking the ground beneath your feet. It’s up to you whether you want to be carried away by the storm or set your feet right on your dream and breathe hope in it.

If life was like a dress rehearsal.........

                                   For some time now, I haven’t been keeping well. All the medical tests ruled out any major illness but I am yet to recover. And what disappoints me is the fact that am stuck on my bed in my room taking pills and counting hours and days. I am rearing to go back to my old life where mornings meant walking across the street for tea with a friend, afternoons for siesta time, evenings for work and nights were meant to enjoying the corporate culture in the office. Never once did I bother to check why my  clothes were becoming loose on me nor did I bother to wonder why I was feeling weak quite often. I now regret being careless. Now mornings are to wake up and notice where I feel painful in my body, thank God for letting me pass the night’s turmoil, begin the day’s battle with a series of pills, afternoons are for calorie filled lunch and evenings are for hospital visits. By the time, I am done with everything, I realize that the stars are shining bright in the sky telling me that its time for pills again and time to sleep. Meanwhile, whenever I can open my laptop, I apply for jobs keeping my fingers crossed. Luck is yet to knock my door and hope its not too far away. 

                               This still life has taught me many things and has given me to retrospect my past and relations that I’ve shared with people. I call myself romantically dead and so me sharing any of my experiences in that field would be impossible. But I can let you read one of my very good friend’s life journey. She has been my roomie until she was married. Both of us were doctors the only difference being she was the practicing one while I was the non practicing one. I have seen her dedication towards her work and slogging days together on her cases in the hospital. She maintained a healthy relation with the patient’s aides and was always there to counsel them. Back home she was a careless young woman who wasn’t really bothered about how often she changed her bed sheets or where there were enough supplies in the room to last us for a month. She completely trusted me and left everything under my control. As I was working at nights, I used to take care of things and made sure that she had to worry about nothing but wash her hair and get ready to work and rush off. We were quite attached to each other and we had no secrets within us. If she was hurt, I was mad and if I had tears in my eyes she was awake the whole night keeping an eye on me. I have been to her place and mutual likings took place immediately. Life never comes so simple and I realized that she was in love with her classmate who always ignored her feelings towards him. She was quite upset about this as her parents were searching for a suitable guy for her. We spent sleepless nights as the guy wasn’t reciprocating to  her feelings and her parents almost fixed a match. Engagement was just days away. She couldn’t gather enough courage to tell her parents that she wasn’t ready for marriage with a stranger thanks to her conservative upbringing. I tried convincing her that I would talk to her parents as they treat me like their own. She stopped me and the guy whom she cared for was like a stone that was never carved. Senseless and heartless. Time flew as if we were travelling in a time machine and all of a sudden we realized that the next day was the wedding. I have to confess that I prayed fervently that the marriage shouldn’t happen. Contrary to my prayers, the marriage has happened and she moved on in life with her partner.                               

                            She moved in to her husband’s house and I gave her the space as I knew that she was new bride until all of a sudden I received a call from one of our common friends. To my utter shock, I heard that she has attempted suicide and behold, she was 2 months old in the wed lock. I was at home far away from the city and had to rush back to the city. Her husband barred her meeting anyone and she wasn’t allowed to take any calls or any messages. All I knew was that she was working in a differed clinic now for a lesser amount thanks to the never cribbing husband who gets paid lesser than my friend. I somehow traced the place where she was working and stepped in to see her losing half her weight and looking much older. I could make out the intensity with which she must have been troubled. There was a long silence between us as we had to gather ourselves to talk and face it. I let her cry and she told me about her monstrous husband. Not to go much into the details of what has happened, she now regrets that she didn’t tell her parents that she wasn’t ready for a marriage with this guy. Being a citizen of a conservative nation, she has decided to live her live with the beast and hopes that her prayers might turn him to a human being. . I often remember her and offer a small prayer for her happiness. I talk to her enquiring her about her well being. But I could never gather enough courage to go and meet her and see what she was going through.

                                 “ If life was like a dress rehearsal and we had time for do-overs”….Excerpts from Grey’s Anatomy. How true!! Unfortunately life is a one time performance in which we need to excel every second to survive and not let others over take us. In the process we ought to make sure that we dream right and breathe in our dreams right. Every step we move and every decision we take in life needs to be picture perfect and result perfect lest it ruins a life time chance. 

Born for bigger things.........

     I have written my experiences and excerpts from my conversations with people round me. This time I want to share my personal experience. I have had this in my dreams few days back. I have been trying to pen this down for a while and unfortunately there have been many obstacles like never before. This time I’ve decided that rain or shine, I’ll pen this down.

                      In my dream, I was in a church with my mother sitting next to me and another girl in her jeans to my other side. I haven’t spoken a word to her all the while she was sitting next to me. The Father called out a name for a special song and the girl next to me rose from her seat and sang a song while playing the flute. After that, the girl started to speak. Ideally, she was giving a testimony. In her own words-“ I was going abroad for further studies and I secured a seat in one of the best colleges there I had to find a job to fund my expenses and one of our acquaintances introduced me to someone from that place, who is a resident and he assured me that he would help me secure a job once I landed there. All said and done, my family and I were relieved that I would even get a job in the foreign land. After landing, I was waiting for the man to show up so that he could show me the job. The day he was supposed to meet me, I was staring at the sky and along with me were few more people. The first plane that landed, didn’t bring in the man I was supposed to meet. I was still staring at the sky and the next plane too didn’t bring him. That’s when I realized that the man promised few others like me to help them secure jobs and all of them were waiting for him just like me. The man never turned up ever after”. 

                   I was wondering why the girl was thanking God if the man dumped her in a foreign land. She continued, “It was God’s never ending support that helped me survive there with a decent job and He helped me finish my studies and return to my mother land safe. And I could clearly see the girl happy that she is back safe. All of a sudden, in my dreams, I was reminded of the Bible verse that I read the day before. “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? 

                   I shared this with  many people wondering the meaning of this dream. No one could give me a satisfactory interpretation. I was upset cos this was a different dream than I had before and no one could interpret it for me. My mum was watching me all the while me running from pillar to post for an interpretation. She called me in the evening and she asked me to repeat my dream. I repeated myself. She listened patiently.She interpreted it for me. In her own words. “ You are running after something while God has something bigger in store for you. And you will thank God for what He has given you. His plans for you are bigger than your dreams for yourself. “ Beautifully true….

                   At times in life we aim for something where in we are destined for bigger things. Not realizing life’s destination is a bigger mistake than not realizing our dreams.

Capitalize on your loss.......

                                          Last night I was watching the semi finals of French Open between Djokovic and Nadal. Born in a cricket crazy country, I take pride in being fascinated towards tennis. I love this sport for the way it carries itself. My all time favorite player remains Pete Sampras and after his retirement, I started watching Roddick and Nadal play it with elegance and poise. I became Agassi’s fan after reading his book “Open”. I also admired Monica Seles for the way she came back to the game even after she was stabbed during a match between her and Steffi Graf. Now, I love watching Serena Williams win every match and admire her comeback after a life threatening lung condition. Back home, I am an ardent fan of Leander Paes for his passion towards the game. No offense but he is a relief amongst those players who run even after cents leaving the nation disgraced. I actually congratulate myself for never being fascinated towards cricket lest today I would be cursing the tainted players for wasting my time watching them tuck their towels and signal the bookies. The thought of many hidden names coming to limelight sickens me.

                                         Back to the match that I had watched yesterday, I previously watched a match between Djokovic and Nadal which went on for more than 5hrs. The game was more about mental strength than physical stamina. I was in the gym working out and everyone with me in the gym stopped working out and were glued to the match. Djokovic won the match finally and the match is famous even now for its long rallies between the 2 players. I remember that match very well though it has happened almost 2 yrs. back. This time too, I wanted to watch the match between the 2 great players of this generation. I consider Nadal and Serena as the Title favorites keeping in mind their ferocious come back. Yesterday’s match went on for 4 and 1/2 hours. By the time I started watching the match, Nadal and Djokovic won a set each. Nadal went on to win the 3^rd set and was serving for the match as the 4^th one began, Djokovic was under pressure as the crowd went on to chat Nadal’s name. He was losing the shots at the line. As I started to feel sorry for Djokovic, he took me by surprise by winning that set and the next one too. Both of them won 2 sets each and the last one was the crucial one for both the players and Djokovic was leading by playing strong forehands and long rallies. Nadal was visibly exhausted. I was excited watching the match. Amidst audience support Nadal went on to win the match. Not to mention, Nadal was playing to win his 8^th French Open title, highest by any player. He was just a step closer to realize his dream.

                                      While Nadal was celebrating his success by throwing away his wristbands towards his fans, I caught Djokovic packing his belongings in silence and leave the stadium after waving at the crowd for their support. He was visibly upset at his loss after coming too near to win the match. He must have practiced very hard to win the title but unfortunately he fell a step before. My heart went out for him. But what impressed me was that his eyes spoke more than his actions. He had that determination sealed in his heart that showed up in his eyes. He isn’t the one who would easily give up on his dreams. Hoping that he cracks the next title, all it struck me was that each one of us at some point in our lives must have been so close to achieve something but must have missed it in the last moment. But all we need to remember that amid of difficulty comes an opportunity and only the ones who are passionate about their dreams capitalize it.