I was in front of the mirror
and getting ready and was in my own
world. All this while, I have been thinking about the fact that I haven’t
written in my blog for a while now. I
was looking for an inspiration. As I was lost with these thoughts, I guess I
saw a little girl as an image. Apparently a much younger me. My mum said that I
earned my first income when I was just 2 yrs. old. She always narrated this
incident. My mother being a lecturer, I kind of played with books and pens more
than toys. One such day, she found me scribbling something on a piece of paper.
She wrote “A” on the same paper and gave it to me. It seems that I wrote “A”
back and gave it to her. For me, I was mimicking my mother but for her, I
started to learn. Later in the evening, when my father returned home, my mother
told him the entire incident, and the proud father gave me a Rs.100/- note. I
earned it for showcasing my talent without ever knowing that. My mother
treasures this incident and always reminds me that I am born with a talent to
grasp things instantly and she always had greater plans for me. She never
settled for anything less. I met her
expectations being an all-rounder in the school and a star debater. Once I
completed my schooling, she told me that she has a dream. She dreamt that she
saw me wearing an apron and steth round my neck walking in a hospital. I joined
Physiotherapy and became a Physiotherapist, second in my hometown. My sister
followed me. I had to enter the real world and until then I was under her
guidance. All of a sudden, she decided to let me fly to check the strength of
my wings. Neither my mum nor I wanted to take any mortal help for my
career. I then realized that the world
isn’t as green as the way it has been painted. I could hear the mocking amongst
my relatives but yes, I did secure a job
within a month of my graduation. I was Dr. Priyaanka Sarkar now. Time flew by
and then I shifted my career to a different field. From dealing with bones, I
moved to the field of numbers. I faired amazingly well there. Until few months
back, I should say that I carved a niche for myself in an unknown place. One
day as I was about to get ready to office, I felt an inconvenient pain in my
stomach. Crediting the pain to the insipid food that I had last night, I
ignored the pain and rushed to work. Few hours later, I felt the same pain but
it was gone after a while. The pain
reminded me of its existence occasionally but I was too occupied to give
it an attention. My cousin was getting married and he was generous enough to
allow me to be the bridesmaid. All excited, I went home and that was the last
time I ever saw the place I have been for years under the name of a
career. On the day of betrothal, a cousin
who saw me after a long time, hugged me. All of a sudden, she withdrew herself
and asked me if I were down with fever. I said no. I credited this to the
weather outside. That night I could feel weak and by the next morning I was
down with fever. I somehow managed all through the wedding and the next day
rushed to a hospital. What followed was a nightmare. I was declared anemic and
all my blood was drained to diagnose the root cause. The stomach pain was more frequent now and
there wasn’t an hour that I was free of pain. After being treated for an
unknown condition that caused me the pain, I realized that it has been almost 3
months that I have been on the bed. I knew it was going to take a little longer
for the docs to declare me normal. I quit my job and lay on my bed staring at
the calendar as when I can start searching for a new job. Months passed by and
I was still staring at the calendar. I have been always in love with my career
and couldn’t imagine myself being idle. I decide that I could utilize this time
to start from basics – physiotherapy. I wanted to set up a clinic in my
hometown and treat the natives. I was born and brought up here and wanted to
give back something to the place. I imagined it to be cake walk.
I was mistaken. Rejection came
from an unexpected area – my father. He was fine with me treating people but
didn’t want me to display any sort of board that would indicate that I am
running a clinic. He felt that it would embarrass him if I had a board in front
of the house or I had any pamphlets being distributed. I argued that until I
had a board no one would ever know that there is a Doc inside. He was even
against me getting my visiting cards printed. Once again, I was staring this
time into darkness. My mother and I
tried to reason but in vain. I was depressed. I was heart broken. I started
feeling insecure and I was confining myself to my room. I knew that my career
wasn’t going anywhere and all my dreams are in drain. Nothing could help me get back to my normal self. In a matter of
months, from a employee I became a no one. I lost hope. I could often feel the
warmth of my tears on my cheeks and then could hear my sobs. I wanted to die. I
couldn’t take all this. I alone knew the
pain I had taken to be what I was until yesterday. I wanted to be second to
none. I wanted to be alone for a while and was getting ready to go for a walk.
I was in front of the mirror and then saw a younger me.
I reminded myself how I earned at the age of 2. I realized that if I was
born with a talent, am going to live with it until my grave. Am a quick learner
and all I need to do is swim my way out to the shore to feel the warmth of my
dreams. Easier said than done. I am still trying to convince my father and
while he still seems unfazed by my pain, I am not giving up. While I write
this, I am confident that I am going to write a sequel to this incident which
would end on a happier note. After all, when life draws its curtains on us, we
ought to make sure that its a decent one.
For all those who are facing a
rejection, don’t give up… Fight until you can inhale……
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