Fight until you can inhale.....

                                 I was in front of the mirror and  getting ready and was in my own world. All this while, I have been thinking about the fact that I haven’t written in my blog for a while now.  I was looking for an inspiration. As I was lost with these thoughts, I guess I saw a little girl as an image. Apparently a much younger me. My mum said that I earned my first income when I was just 2 yrs. old. She always narrated this incident. My mother being a lecturer, I kind of played with books and pens more than toys. One such day, she found me scribbling something on a piece of paper. She wrote “A” on the same paper and gave it to me. It seems that I wrote “A” back and gave it to her. For me, I was mimicking my mother but for her, I started to learn. Later in the evening, when my father returned home, my mother told him the entire incident, and the proud father gave me a Rs.100/- note. I earned it for showcasing my talent without ever knowing that. My mother treasures this incident and always reminds me that I am born with a talent to grasp things instantly and she always had greater plans for me. She never settled for anything less.  I met her expectations being an all-rounder in the school and a star debater. Once I completed my schooling, she told me that she has a dream. She dreamt that she saw me wearing an apron and steth round my neck walking in a hospital. I joined Physiotherapy and became a Physiotherapist, second in my hometown. My sister followed me. I had to enter the real world and until then I was under her guidance. All of a sudden, she decided to let me fly to check the strength of my wings. Neither my mum nor I wanted to take any mortal help for my career.  I then realized that the world isn’t as green as the way it has been painted. I could hear the mocking amongst my relatives but yes,  I did secure a job within a month of my graduation. I was Dr. Priyaanka Sarkar now. Time flew by and then I shifted my career to a different field. From dealing with bones, I moved to the field of numbers. I faired amazingly well there. Until few months back, I should say that I carved a niche for myself in an unknown place. One day as I was about to get ready to office, I felt an inconvenient pain in my stomach. Crediting the pain to the insipid food that I had last night, I ignored the pain and rushed to work. Few hours later, I felt the same pain but it was gone after a while. The pain  reminded me of its existence occasionally but I was too occupied to give it an attention. My cousin was getting married and he was generous enough to allow me to be the bridesmaid. All excited, I went home and that was the last time I ever saw the place I have been for years under the name of a career.  On the day of betrothal, a cousin who saw me after a long time, hugged me. All of a sudden, she withdrew herself and asked me if I were down with fever. I said no. I credited this to the weather outside. That night I could feel weak and by the next morning I was down with fever. I somehow managed all through the wedding and the next day rushed to a hospital. What followed was a nightmare. I was declared anemic and all my blood was drained to diagnose the root cause.  The stomach pain was more frequent now and there wasn’t an hour that I was free of pain. After being treated for an unknown condition that caused me the pain, I realized that it has been almost 3 months that I have been on the bed. I knew it was going to take a little longer for the docs to declare me normal. I quit my job and lay on my bed staring at the calendar as when I can start searching for a new job. Months passed by and I was still staring at the calendar. I have been always in love with my career and couldn’t imagine myself being idle. I decide that I could utilize this time to start from basics – physiotherapy. I wanted to set up a clinic in my hometown and treat the natives. I was born and brought up here and wanted to give back something to the place. I imagined it to be cake walk.

                          I was mistaken.  Rejection came from an unexpected area – my father. He was fine with me treating people but didn’t want me to display any sort of board that would indicate that I am running a clinic. He felt that it would embarrass him if I had a board in front of the house or I had any pamphlets being distributed. I argued that until I had a board no one would ever know that there is a Doc inside. He was even against me getting my visiting cards printed. Once again, I was staring this time into darkness. My mother  and I tried to reason but in vain. I was depressed. I was heart broken. I started feeling insecure and I was confining myself to my room. I knew that my career wasn’t going anywhere and all my dreams are in drain. Nothing could help  me get back to my normal self. In a matter of months, from a employee I became a no one. I lost hope. I could often feel the warmth of my tears on my cheeks and then could hear my sobs. I wanted to die. I couldn’t take all this.  I alone knew the pain I had taken to be what I was until yesterday. I wanted to be second to none. I wanted to be alone for a while and was getting ready to go for a walk. I was in front of the mirror and then saw a younger me.

                            I reminded myself how I earned at the age of 2. I realized that if I was born with a talent, am going to live with it until my grave. Am a quick learner and all I need to do is swim my way out to the shore to feel the warmth of my dreams. Easier said than done. I am still trying to convince my father and while he still seems unfazed by my pain, I am not giving up. While I write this, I am confident that I am going to write a sequel to this incident which would end on a happier note. After all, when life draws its curtains on us, we ought to make sure that its a decent one.

                         For all those who are facing a rejection, don’t give up… Fight until you can inhale……

Life has its share of unpleasant surprises.....

“Honey, I’d be just a call away if you need me”. He said.  “Are we friends”? the lady asked. He could feel the moist of his tears running down his cheeks while he answered “Yes”.

She says with a smile. “I’m in love”.

“That’s great to hear and who is the lucky one”?

“That man who is sitting in the corner”.

All that Richards could do was give a smile. He has been visiting the care center ever since he admitted his wife years after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. At first he was reluctant to let her go to a care center. But her condition deteriorated so much that she almost killed him once mistaking Richards for an intruder. Adele was her name. Richards had to constantly remind her that he was her husband and the attempts bore no fruit. Adele had no memories left from her past thanks to her degenerating medical condition. The man sitting in the corner slowly walked up to her and both of them started talking to each other oblivious of Richard’s presence. Richards left with a heavy heart. The next day Richards arrives at the care center with a bouquet of Adele’s favorite flowers hoping that it might help his wife recollect him. He knocks her door and there is no response. Richards gently pushes the door open to see his wife making out with the man whom he saw talking to Adele the previous day. Adele shouts in shock asking Richards how can he enter a stranger’s room without their permission and interrupt their privacy. Richards is too shocked at the sight and confronts the Head of the center how could they allow an outsider to take advantage of his wife’s medical condition. He threatens to sue them. The Chief replies, “Sir, the man whom you have seen is not an outsider but is a patient by name Allen like your wife. He is in more advanced stage of Alzheimer’s than your wife”. Richards has no words left to answer. He leaves the place. He recollects his happier days with his wife and the times he has broken his vows. He wanted to hold her hand through her last days and now it seems to be difficult as Adele considers Allen as her husband and plans to marry him as both of them are oblivious of their medical condition and its prognosis.

I was thinking what could have been running in Richards’s mind.  His wife, his partner for decades now has forgotten him. It must have been very painful for him to bear what he has seen. That’s the truth he has to live the rest of his life with.  For me, I would be dead by then.

Life is such that it throws unpleasant surprises at you. You must have dreamt of something all your life but just at the moment you think everything is perfect and you are right there, life throws some unpleasant circumstance at you shaking the ground beneath your feet. It’s up to you whether you want to be carried away by the storm or set your feet right on your dream and breathe hope in it.

If life was like a dress rehearsal.........

                                   For some time now, I haven’t been keeping well. All the medical tests ruled out any major illness but I am yet to recover. And what disappoints me is the fact that am stuck on my bed in my room taking pills and counting hours and days. I am rearing to go back to my old life where mornings meant walking across the street for tea with a friend, afternoons for siesta time, evenings for work and nights were meant to enjoying the corporate culture in the office. Never once did I bother to check why my  clothes were becoming loose on me nor did I bother to wonder why I was feeling weak quite often. I now regret being careless. Now mornings are to wake up and notice where I feel painful in my body, thank God for letting me pass the night’s turmoil, begin the day’s battle with a series of pills, afternoons are for calorie filled lunch and evenings are for hospital visits. By the time, I am done with everything, I realize that the stars are shining bright in the sky telling me that its time for pills again and time to sleep. Meanwhile, whenever I can open my laptop, I apply for jobs keeping my fingers crossed. Luck is yet to knock my door and hope its not too far away. 

                               This still life has taught me many things and has given me to retrospect my past and relations that I’ve shared with people. I call myself romantically dead and so me sharing any of my experiences in that field would be impossible. But I can let you read one of my very good friend’s life journey. She has been my roomie until she was married. Both of us were doctors the only difference being she was the practicing one while I was the non practicing one. I have seen her dedication towards her work and slogging days together on her cases in the hospital. She maintained a healthy relation with the patient’s aides and was always there to counsel them. Back home she was a careless young woman who wasn’t really bothered about how often she changed her bed sheets or where there were enough supplies in the room to last us for a month. She completely trusted me and left everything under my control. As I was working at nights, I used to take care of things and made sure that she had to worry about nothing but wash her hair and get ready to work and rush off. We were quite attached to each other and we had no secrets within us. If she was hurt, I was mad and if I had tears in my eyes she was awake the whole night keeping an eye on me. I have been to her place and mutual likings took place immediately. Life never comes so simple and I realized that she was in love with her classmate who always ignored her feelings towards him. She was quite upset about this as her parents were searching for a suitable guy for her. We spent sleepless nights as the guy wasn’t reciprocating to  her feelings and her parents almost fixed a match. Engagement was just days away. She couldn’t gather enough courage to tell her parents that she wasn’t ready for marriage with a stranger thanks to her conservative upbringing. I tried convincing her that I would talk to her parents as they treat me like their own. She stopped me and the guy whom she cared for was like a stone that was never carved. Senseless and heartless. Time flew as if we were travelling in a time machine and all of a sudden we realized that the next day was the wedding. I have to confess that I prayed fervently that the marriage shouldn’t happen. Contrary to my prayers, the marriage has happened and she moved on in life with her partner.                               

                            She moved in to her husband’s house and I gave her the space as I knew that she was new bride until all of a sudden I received a call from one of our common friends. To my utter shock, I heard that she has attempted suicide and behold, she was 2 months old in the wed lock. I was at home far away from the city and had to rush back to the city. Her husband barred her meeting anyone and she wasn’t allowed to take any calls or any messages. All I knew was that she was working in a differed clinic now for a lesser amount thanks to the never cribbing husband who gets paid lesser than my friend. I somehow traced the place where she was working and stepped in to see her losing half her weight and looking much older. I could make out the intensity with which she must have been troubled. There was a long silence between us as we had to gather ourselves to talk and face it. I let her cry and she told me about her monstrous husband. Not to go much into the details of what has happened, she now regrets that she didn’t tell her parents that she wasn’t ready for a marriage with this guy. Being a citizen of a conservative nation, she has decided to live her live with the beast and hopes that her prayers might turn him to a human being. . I often remember her and offer a small prayer for her happiness. I talk to her enquiring her about her well being. But I could never gather enough courage to go and meet her and see what she was going through.

                                 “ If life was like a dress rehearsal and we had time for do-overs”….Excerpts from Grey’s Anatomy. How true!! Unfortunately life is a one time performance in which we need to excel every second to survive and not let others over take us. In the process we ought to make sure that we dream right and breathe in our dreams right. Every step we move and every decision we take in life needs to be picture perfect and result perfect lest it ruins a life time chance. 

Born for bigger things.........

     I have written my experiences and excerpts from my conversations with people round me. This time I want to share my personal experience. I have had this in my dreams few days back. I have been trying to pen this down for a while and unfortunately there have been many obstacles like never before. This time I’ve decided that rain or shine, I’ll pen this down.

                      In my dream, I was in a church with my mother sitting next to me and another girl in her jeans to my other side. I haven’t spoken a word to her all the while she was sitting next to me. The Father called out a name for a special song and the girl next to me rose from her seat and sang a song while playing the flute. After that, the girl started to speak. Ideally, she was giving a testimony. In her own words-“ I was going abroad for further studies and I secured a seat in one of the best colleges there I had to find a job to fund my expenses and one of our acquaintances introduced me to someone from that place, who is a resident and he assured me that he would help me secure a job once I landed there. All said and done, my family and I were relieved that I would even get a job in the foreign land. After landing, I was waiting for the man to show up so that he could show me the job. The day he was supposed to meet me, I was staring at the sky and along with me were few more people. The first plane that landed, didn’t bring in the man I was supposed to meet. I was still staring at the sky and the next plane too didn’t bring him. That’s when I realized that the man promised few others like me to help them secure jobs and all of them were waiting for him just like me. The man never turned up ever after”. 

                   I was wondering why the girl was thanking God if the man dumped her in a foreign land. She continued, “It was God’s never ending support that helped me survive there with a decent job and He helped me finish my studies and return to my mother land safe. And I could clearly see the girl happy that she is back safe. All of a sudden, in my dreams, I was reminded of the Bible verse that I read the day before. “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? 

                   I shared this with  many people wondering the meaning of this dream. No one could give me a satisfactory interpretation. I was upset cos this was a different dream than I had before and no one could interpret it for me. My mum was watching me all the while me running from pillar to post for an interpretation. She called me in the evening and she asked me to repeat my dream. I repeated myself. She listened patiently.She interpreted it for me. In her own words. “ You are running after something while God has something bigger in store for you. And you will thank God for what He has given you. His plans for you are bigger than your dreams for yourself. “ Beautifully true….

                   At times in life we aim for something where in we are destined for bigger things. Not realizing life’s destination is a bigger mistake than not realizing our dreams.

Capitalize on your loss.......

                                          Last night I was watching the semi finals of French Open between Djokovic and Nadal. Born in a cricket crazy country, I take pride in being fascinated towards tennis. I love this sport for the way it carries itself. My all time favorite player remains Pete Sampras and after his retirement, I started watching Roddick and Nadal play it with elegance and poise. I became Agassi’s fan after reading his book “Open”. I also admired Monica Seles for the way she came back to the game even after she was stabbed during a match between her and Steffi Graf. Now, I love watching Serena Williams win every match and admire her comeback after a life threatening lung condition. Back home, I am an ardent fan of Leander Paes for his passion towards the game. No offense but he is a relief amongst those players who run even after cents leaving the nation disgraced. I actually congratulate myself for never being fascinated towards cricket lest today I would be cursing the tainted players for wasting my time watching them tuck their towels and signal the bookies. The thought of many hidden names coming to limelight sickens me.

                                         Back to the match that I had watched yesterday, I previously watched a match between Djokovic and Nadal which went on for more than 5hrs. The game was more about mental strength than physical stamina. I was in the gym working out and everyone with me in the gym stopped working out and were glued to the match. Djokovic won the match finally and the match is famous even now for its long rallies between the 2 players. I remember that match very well though it has happened almost 2 yrs. back. This time too, I wanted to watch the match between the 2 great players of this generation. I consider Nadal and Serena as the Title favorites keeping in mind their ferocious come back. Yesterday’s match went on for 4 and 1/2 hours. By the time I started watching the match, Nadal and Djokovic won a set each. Nadal went on to win the 3^rd set and was serving for the match as the 4^th one began, Djokovic was under pressure as the crowd went on to chat Nadal’s name. He was losing the shots at the line. As I started to feel sorry for Djokovic, he took me by surprise by winning that set and the next one too. Both of them won 2 sets each and the last one was the crucial one for both the players and Djokovic was leading by playing strong forehands and long rallies. Nadal was visibly exhausted. I was excited watching the match. Amidst audience support Nadal went on to win the match. Not to mention, Nadal was playing to win his 8^th French Open title, highest by any player. He was just a step closer to realize his dream.

                                      While Nadal was celebrating his success by throwing away his wristbands towards his fans, I caught Djokovic packing his belongings in silence and leave the stadium after waving at the crowd for their support. He was visibly upset at his loss after coming too near to win the match. He must have practiced very hard to win the title but unfortunately he fell a step before. My heart went out for him. But what impressed me was that his eyes spoke more than his actions. He had that determination sealed in his heart that showed up in his eyes. He isn’t the one who would easily give up on his dreams. Hoping that he cracks the next title, all it struck me was that each one of us at some point in our lives must have been so close to achieve something but must have missed it in the last moment. But all we need to remember that amid of difficulty comes an opportunity and only the ones who are passionate about their dreams capitalize it.

Smack the system and give your dreams a new reason......

                                I am angry beyond words and expressions. I, being a citizen of this country have been royally ripped off my basic right to book a train ticket thanks to the sick reservation system. I have been in front of my computer for the past 1 hr trying to book a train ticket for my father under Tatkal which hides available seats if I want to book tickets in prior. My father had to travel on an urgent basis and hence the struggle. I tried for an hour only to read the red flashing message "Regret Waiting List". My anger grew no bounds. When I logged in for the first time, it showed there was availability in abundance and within an hour it regrets for the waiting list. It rises questions regarding the efficiency of the one for whom I voted standing in the queue in the hot sun after carefully listening to one's promises. I pay my taxes and bills on time for the fear of my facilities being cut. Just a second. Facilities? What facilities am I talking about? I go to a restaurant to give my mum a day off from her kitchen and the govt charges me and names it VAT.I buy a car and want to go for a long drive and the govt. charges me the toll gate fare. I want to switch on my fan after I come from a hectic day at work, and the govt. sacrifices my power to the white shirt clad politicians as they have to watch porn in the Assembly. Not just that, I end up paying the electricity bill. I grew up learning that 70% of the planet is filled with water. I end up finding bacteria in my mineral water. Isn't time we change the pledge and rewrite it as "I am proud of its rich heritage but ashamed at the way it's being plundered". How I wish The British still ruled over us. We could have fared far better than what we are now. A school teacher who has to   educate the future generation has to retire by 58 but the old nags have no retirement to eat the Nations's wealth. An effortless job where in one needn't prepare a resume and give interviews. All one needs to do is sit and eat other's prosperity. And last but not the least, my very own existence might be at stake if I use my constitutional right. I am supposed to bear this in silence and still praise my country and its varied corruption and never ending injustice to a common man.

                             This is for all the aspirants who are appearing for the administrative exams. I don't want you to feel what I feel now. Rather use your pen and soul for tomorrow's exam and show the nation and its leaders what you can do for your future generations. If its me today, remember it can be anyone of you tomorrow or in the very next hour. Its your country and don't let its future rot in the hands of illiterate selfish old nags. Take things under your control. Show the world that you are the one who can bring changes for a better future. Dream big and administrate bigger. Prove the reason for your existence on this planet. Let not your journey from the cradle to the grave be just another one....Good luck!!!

Don't wait to watch your dreams turning to a pile of memories!!!

                                                 I was embarrassed  as he was looking at those pics in the album. I was so fat, dark and had a tummy too big for my size as a kid. Not that I've grown up to be a beauty now, yet somehow they embarrassed me and the pics were not pleasant to watch. My cousin has come home as my mum wanted  to  celebrate his birthday at our place. She often called him her eldest kid. I never felt jealous though I was being ripped off my first born rights. He was like a true son to my mother. Career has always kept me away from my duties and responsibilities but my cousin has never forgotten to be at my mum’s side even at the dark of the night. My sister was passing comments as how I looked as a kid. He just said ,” I've known you like this and I carried you in my arms since you were a kid”. That was a relief! Knowing that someone has been with you since your dark or rather embarrassing days  makes a lot of difference. I have to add that this maternal cousin of mine has been my favorite brother. No wonder for all the traits he has, mum considers him an apple of her eye. His own parents call up my mum if they have to advise him. Over the years, he has never failed to  appear with a birthday cake on my mum’s b'day which also falls on the Christmas.  

                                               Today, after lunch, we sat for a conversation which was quite different from the usual ones that brother and sister have. He spoke at a length about the Bible, the dreams he dreamt of and how things went against his favor in the eleventh hour. Everyone in the family knew that he wanted to set up his own business as somewhere he believed that he wasn't cut out for 9-6 job. He wanted to be with his parents and wanted to be at their side during any hour. Mocks could be heard around but I always blessed his guts as no one would be ready to forsake a promising career to be awaiting an unseen situation which might need his presence. He has been my inspiration and my favorite brother. Amid protests he started his own business and as usual put his heart and soul in it. As he spoke I was expecting a happy story. As much as he spoke, he explained how things went wrong at the last moment turning the tables against him. He said, “ I felt that someone was working against me”. If it wasn't for my mum who has seen him going through all this, I would have rubbished it off.  All through this, he has never let himself down. He has his spirits in place and of course, his dreams tightly held to his chest. I was curious to know his next step now that every tide is against him. He quoted the Bible,” If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? " I knew what he had in his mind. He was talking about  dreams being heard by God who wouldn't turn a deaf ear. My brother isn't definitely a mediocre who ignores the fact that God helps those who help themselves.He has been playing his cards well and has been trying his best and am confident that he would make it big one day.

 

                                         As I've always said, everyone dreams. However very few make their dreams come true. Life has never been guaranteed trouble free. Rather a life which comes as a non stop entertainment doesn't inspire us. The struggles we face and the manner in which we revolt back to normalcy defines our strength. Dream,  face the struggles and emerge as a winner! Just don't live to see your dreams turning to a pile of memories... 

It's never late....

                                      

You can never dream without learning how to.......

                                        " If  I am going to make this", I thought to myself- "Nothing can stop me". I was in the train going home for Christmas. I tried reminding myself how my day started. I missed my flight as the cab I booked arrived 45 mins before the flight was scheduled to depart. Hope against hope, I rushed to the airport only to be told that my flight has departed and there is no other flight to my place for the same day and it was already Christmas Eve for me to extend a day. I could feel the warmth of my tears on my cheeks out of sheer anger and my stupidity. I went to the railway station to be told that there is a train up to another city which is like 4 hrs away from my place. I bought my ticket and rushed to see that the train was just about to start. The coach was full and at the mercy of the T.C I could secure a berth for myself in the A.C coach. Just about to relax, I over heard a conversation which means that the train will arrive at the city only at 7 pm which means the connecting train to my native would be around 10 pm dropping me 1/2 hr away from my home town by 1 am. I recalled my conversation with my mother saying that I would be home for dinner. Forget about dinner, I said to myself. I can be home for Christmas' breakfast. Things were getting out of my control as there is nothing that I can do at this point in time. After cursing myself for the umpteenth time for missing my flight, I laid my head on the window and said to myself-  " If  I am going to make this", "Nothing can stop me". My brother arranging his friend to pick me up at the station to draw the curtains on a peaceful note draws my saga to an end.

                                     This might be a small incident but recollecting the pain and tension that I put my family in, it is worth mentioning. I dream a lot of my ambitions and goals in my life and I decided that my life is too precious to let it go by missing my flight or taking a late night train. I was determined to never take things in a light manner and started practicing detailed observation to the facts that I've been missing all this while. And yes, things are looking better now. My approach towards life has changed and I respect my life and this incident which taught me the importance of living to dream.

You never know when inspiration strikes!!!!

                                        If there was one death that hurt me and disturbed me, it was my maid’s. There are 3 women  who shaped my life – my mother, sister and my maid. My mother always told me that she has been there  since I was born. She must be in her early 30’s when I was born. I grew up playing with her as my mother was a working woman. She bathed me, fed me and played with me while my mother was away at work. Never once did she teach me anything wrong. She went on to bring up my brother and sister the same way but she was always closer to me. She herself never had any kids. The first time I was put in a hostel and I came home for holidays, she waited for me anxiously and touched my face and continued to bathe me. I was a teenager then. I somehow liked her affection and always brought her something or the other when I came home during my vacation. I joined my medicine and used to give her few medicines when she had health problems. She had this look on her face which used to make me feel very happy. She was obviously very proud of the fact that the child whom she brought up has become a doctor and is treating her now. During all these years, never did she stop her routine of oiling my hair and bathing me.  During the years, I taught her how to write alphabets in English and she used to learn with interest. Once my mother told me her story. She ran away from her house while she was pretty young and married a man of her choice. She obviously eloped with him. She bore hi m no kids but her husband never once complained. She brought up his sister’s kids and she was an affectionate lady. My mother always used to gift her saree for the festival and a day later she used to tear it into half and get her kids stiched something o f it. I used to wonder why but over the years I realised that she was giving to her kids out of what she had.  I started working and whether I set my tith aside or not, I always had  certain amount for her set apart.  I was kind of addicted to her presence in my family. After few months, her husband passed away and I could clearly see that she was grief struck. She would no longer cheer up. She used to complete all her work in silence and long lost was her smile but never her affection. She still used to oil my hair and bathe me. I wanted her to come off with me to the city and all she would do was to give me an affectionate smile. My mother asked her to stay with us in our house. Even she agreed. Later, my mother rang me early morning one day to inform me that my maid has passed away. She passed away with the grief that her husband was no more. It took me a while to understand that she was no more. Over the years, the time I spent with her remained as sweet memories for me.  Its been almost 3 years that she has passed away but she has always been there in my memories. Now when I turn back and think of those times, I realise that she helped me grow as a good human being. Her never fading smile and the way she took care of me all through those years helped me believe in humanity. Today, I proudly state that my maid has been one of those 3 women who inspired me.

                          Many times in life, people come in your life, make a mark with their existance and leave with their trace. Its up to us to decide as how to draw inspiration from them. We might not realise their importance while they are still with us. Atleast drawing  inspiration from their presence and moving on to realise our dreams would be a better way to pay a tribute to them.